Stranded
by Unknowingless
Summary: When teen socialites, Uzumaki Naruto and his sister Naruko find themselves in a place called Konoha, they are very confused. What's a jutsu? Why is everyone wearing headbands? And of course, why is their dad carved on a mountain? All they want to do is go back to New York. Warning for: Language and Mature Subject matter
1. This is weeaboo trash heaven

**_Summary:_** When Uzumaki Naruto and his sister Naruko find themselves in a place called Konoha, they are very confused. What's a jutsu? Why is everyone wearing headbands? And of course, why is their dad carved on a mountain?

 _Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Naruto franchise._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1**

"This is weeaboo trash heaven"

In which two teen socialites find themselves is a world of ninjas, jutsus and thankfully good phone service. Too bad they don't sell chargers.

* * *

One thing Naruto always remembered to do before he slept was to charge his phone. He couldn't live without it. Who could? It had his contact list, Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr. The things he needed to make his day possible. Some people had coffee first thing in the morning, his remedy was a charged phone. A nice hundred percent plastered on the top right corner of his phone, next to the icon of a full battery. That's why when he woke up, and couldn't find his phone, he started to sweat.

"Shit, shit, shit..." he cursed repeatedly.

He opened his drawers quickly, trying to see if he might've left it there by mistake the night before. After all, last night, he had gotten home quite late, his whole body reeking of alcohol. It was the party of the year, they said. And indeed, they were right. He had never gotten as drunk as he did, and never had such an intense hangover as well.

"Fuck.." his head was killing him. He needed medicine, Advil or Tylenol, anything to deal with his headache. But first he needed to find his phone. "Oh how society has fallen... For a man such as myself to not be able to function without his phone at hand... Maybe I should write a rant on it later today..." he continued as he rummaged through his drawer. Orange pants, orange jumpsuit, a headband...

Wait what?

Something was amiss.

Never, never, would he ever have anything orange in his wardrobe. Or at least of that shade. He would look like a traffic cone, or worst, a k-pop star. When he opened the other drawer, it broke. And released lots of dust. When the dust cloud finally began to dissipate, the young man realized that the room he was in did not look like his own at all. Not one bit. That was when he started to sweat much more.

His room was not as dark, and not as dusty. His bed was fluffy and soft, compared to the hard one he woke up from and he knew for one thing that he had a lot more space in his own bedroom. Was he kidnapped by some kid with a strong affinity for orange? Was he taken advantage of-

BZZ - BZZ

Before his imagination could lead him to crazy assumptions, a vibration interrupted his thoughts. He felt it in his pocket. Of course, his phone was in his pocket all along. When he took out his device, he nearly yelped. 35%. What a low percentage. And yes, although it's not such a bad number, considering the fact that it was an iPhone, he could beg to differ. The battery on those devices went out in the matter of seconds.

여동생 _(yeodongsaeng): 5 Missed calls._

With a sigh, he closed his phone once more. It was probably a makeup emergency and she needed to get something from Sephora for her newest Instagram post or whatever.

"Kylie Jenner can wait a few minutes. Kendall, here, needs to find out where the actual fuck she is." he said out loud as he glared at the reducing percentage on his phone. He might as well close it, after all, the service didn't seem to be so good in this room.

As he entered the bathroom, Naruto quickly found out that the person who lived there did not like cleaning, at all. There wasn't no mould of grime, thank god, but there seemed to be dust nearly everywhere. Ugh. What kind of person did he sleep with last night.

Apparently, someone who seemed to never suffer from hangovers, and liked orange.

Naruto shivered.

But still, hygiene was important, and if he had to smell like oranges or whatnot, he would take the risk. He would rather smell girly, than smell like crap.

When his shower was over, the man quickly put his clothes back on and grabbed his phone. As he passed from the bedroom to the sitting room, he happened to stumble unto a picture frame. When had the chance to look more intently into it, he tried not to puke. Did he sleep with a kid? That would explain the orange, and oh God... No.

NO.

NO!

He wouldn't have. He was promiscuous, yes. But he wasn't that much of an awful person. Before tears began to fall from his eyes, he looked at the picture once more and stopped. Was that him? Wearing such a tacky uniform? It had to be. No one had birthmarks like his, and the facial structure was too similar to his to be classified as anything else. But he didn't remember taking such a picture with those kids when he was younger. And he had impeccable memory.

What was going on?

Did he meet up with an old stalker of his. The more questions he asked himself, the more he was getting disturbed. So, he did what any normal person would do. He quickly got the heck out of his room and made his way to the outdoors. It was when he hit the outdoors that things got a lot weirder.

"Usually Naruto is the first to arrive…" Sakura said bemusedly as she continued to look out at the road. It was a special day, or at least for Naruto it was. The night before, he as well as his peers had decided to have a training day together. Which meant jutsus, training and ramen. A dream come true for Naruto. Typically on days like such, Naruto would've been the first to arrive at the Training Grounds. If he were a few minutes late, it was understandable. But now, even Kakashi was waiting alongside Sasuke and Sakura. Something was strange.

"He'll get here in a few…" Kakashi said nonchalantly, only to be cut by Sakura's rigid stare.

"You said that forty-five minutes ago, and I don't see any Naruto anywhere."

"Maybe the dobe slept in." Sasuke suggested with a scowl.

A tick appeared on the young woman's head and before her two teammates could do anything, she began to stalk towards the direction of Naruto's apartment.

"Then I guess it's time for a wake up call" she growled as she continued to march down the road, civilians making a ay for her in hopes of not getting into the irritable kunoichi's way.

* * *

It took Naruto a few minutes for him to register what was going on. Scratch minutes, it might've been hours. He had expected to at least a few skyscrapers, or vehicles out and about. Hell, if he saw at least one car, he'd be reassured. What he hadn't expected unpaved roads, open markets, and people wearing what seemed to be ancient Japanese clothing.

"What in the world is going on.." he muttered as he slowly made his way down the steps of the rundown apartment complex. As he descended the stairs, step by step, the landscape he saw began to seem a lot more real that he'd anticipated He had thought of it as a cruel joke, but as he walked more, and looked around, he started to acknowledge the fact that he was a long way from home.

But how did that make sense? Last night, he was in New York.

Getting to the last step, a grim smile appeared on the young man's face and he clutched his phone tightly.

"Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore" he said. However, before he even had a chance to start looking around for clues, a flash of pink clouded his vision.

* * *

If there was one thing Sakura was feared for, it was her temper.

Yes, of course, she did have ridiculous strength, however, if her temper was not kept in check, it was frightening the amount of damage she could do. That was why when she caught eye of blonde hair, the villagers quickly scooted as far as they could from the angry woman.

"Naaaaaruuuutooooooo!"

* * *

It all came so quickly.

The punch, his body hitting the floor, the realization that he just got hit, the pain that soon followed, and then the clearing of his vision.

In front of him was a woman with striking pink hair, shaped in a bob and her eyes were green, with an intimidating glare. When he looked down, he realized that she as well was wearing a weird Japanese-like outfit. She had her hands on her hips as she began to yell at him. However, he couldn't even hear what she was saying. His ear were ringing. Oh it hurt a lot.

He looked around, incredulous, and wondering if someone was going to intervene and say something, but all he got were people shaking their head, looking at him with pity, as they continued their daily affairs.

 _What?_

Soon, his confusion turned to annoyance. And his annoyance turned to something darker. Saltiness.

"What in the actual fuck?" his voice laced with spite. The woman's actions stopped for a second, as her anger had morphed into momentary shock. She had never heard Naruto swear. At least, not to her. And that tone he'd used. It wasn't a tone Naruto used at all. Kakashi and Sasuke thought so as well, they had arrived to see the punch, and so of course they observed their teammate's reaction. They had anticipated a cry, a whine.

But not this.

'Do you just randomly go around punching people for no apparent reason?" he muttered loudly as he got back on his feet. It was then, that many took note of his appearance. It was as though he'd matured overnight. The short male had grown exponentially, his height nearly rivaling Kakashi's, and his baby fat seemed to have disappeared, leaving behind, handsome features. However, no one could comment on his attractiveness due to the angry look he shot out.

"Dobe… have you been drinking?" Sasuke said with distaste as he smelled a bit of alcohol on the person in question.

"First of all." Naruto started with an annoyed face. "The fuck's a dobe. Second of all, even if I drank, what's it to you"

"Naruto, I think it's important for your team—"

But before Kakashi could complete his sentence, he was cut once more by Naruto's temper.

"…and third of **ALL**. Who in the flying shit are you? Or you" he pointed to Sasuke. "Or you." He finished by poking Sakura on the forehead. Something she took to great offense.

"Wh-wha— "

"You heard me pinkie." Acting on impulse, Sakura raised her arm once more to show her teammate a piece of her mind, but she was stopped by the following words.

"Go ahead. Hit me. See what'll happen to you once I grab my attorney."

What had happened to her teammate, her friend? Gone was the nice, happy-go lucky, cute ninja. Instead, he was replaced by an insolent, arrogant and taller version of him. Kakashi had tried to talk to him, to try and understand what had caused such a change in character and instead was met with a roll of the eyes. Sakura's patience had thinned once more and she began to scold him like hell. He only turned around and began to walk away from the trio, his attention somewhere else.

However, he never managed to get far enough.

A pair of ANBU materialised themselves in front of the teen, their figures, intimidating to some. However, Naruto just cursed under his breath.

"Uzumaki Naruto, the Hokage has summoned you to his office."

"God!" he yelled. Once again startling many. "I wake up with a hangover that could rival the atomic bomb, in an apartment that seems to have never been used. My phone battery is at 35 per sent and it keeps on dropping. I've already missed like five calls from my sister which means that I'm gonna get one hell of an ass whoopin. Then I realize I don't have any other clothes to dress in since, oh my god, I remember. I'm not in my freaking home! So I get the fuck out and realize that I'm miles away from New fucking York. Now here I am in fucking Japan-land, where the main attractions are people with a tacky sense of style and bitches who like punching people in the goddamn face first thing in the morning—"

Kakashi tried to intervene but was smoothly cut.

"And so now here I am, in the middle of fucking nowhere. With no portable charger, my bag is gone, I smell like fucking oranges which isn't bad or anything but still! I haven't eaten breakfast yet. I swear to god that I'm not high or stoned because I didn't even smoke that much yesterday and now I'm scared that I'll have a freaking STD because the girl I hooked up with seems to have a fucking kink for unhygienic, dusty apartments that smell like rotten eggs!"

Sakura was speechless, she didn't expect to hear... well, that. Kakashi was confused, he had so much to digest in the shortest amount of time. Sasuke was just wondering whether or not his friend had lost it. And by the outburst he just heard, he could honestly say that Naruto had a few screws loose.

'Uzumaki-sa—"

"Just take me to this freaking Hokage of yours…" the teen muttered before he walked ahead of the elite ninjas, aimlessly.

* * *

Hiruzen Sarutobi liked solving problems.

It was due to that that he'd been dubbed as the Professor of Shinobi. He knew how to solve mysteries. However, the blond standing in front of him proved to be quite an enigma to figure.

"That crazy bastard, just wait until I get your hands on you…" the person said as she tapped her foot on the floor impatiently.

This was going to be a tough problem to solve, that enough he knew.

* * *

 _ **Notes:** This is a different AU. So Sarutobi is still alive. Naruto isn't hated in the village. Sasuke stays and doesn't run away, and the characters are aged up. Like, late teens._


	2. This is weeaboo trash heaven (part 2)

CHAPTER 2

"This is weeaboo trash heaven" (part 2)

In which two teen socialites find themselves is a world of ninjas, jutsus and thankfully good phone service. Too bad they don't sell chargers.

* * *

P.S: Italicized words mean that they are speaking Korean. Or any other foreign language.

* * *

"Someone should remodel this building…" Naruto muttered as he climbed the stairs. "Liven up the place with cleaner colors, like white. And maybe they should install an elevator too…"

Naruto had been complaining for a while about the amount of stairs he'd had to climb. He'd strongly denied to be touched by any strangers, that included Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi or the ANBU. The moment they touched him to perform the shunshin jutsu, Naruto yelled out bloody murder and began to call them all kinds of obscenities.

And so here they were, walking up to the Hokage's office. By foot. Which proved to be quite a long journey. With the teen commenting on almost every single thing he saw, it had taken the group a good half hour to get to the office, but if it prevented Naruto from cursing anyone near him, it was worth it.

The moment the ANBU opened the door to the Hokage's office, Naruto had caught glimpse of blond hair similar to his, and he began to pale.

 _Shit._

Naruto had hoped to escape from the room before the girl in there would recognize him. With baby steps he began to walk back into the hallway, however, he bumped into someone. Making his escape impossible. He cringed and turned back to see who he'd bumped into. It was the weird grey-haired guy. Kakashi, was it? Naruto was about to say something to the man, but stopped when he saw the shocked expression on his face.

Knowing what the man was looking at, Naruto cringed. He was probably looking at her. But before the girl turned around and recognized him, the blond teen quickly hid behind Sasuke's frame and crouched down, so that he wouldn't be noticeable. However he never took in consideration the fact that he had shocking blonde hair.

Quietly he took his phone out of his pocket and opened it. He nearly screamed when he saw how low the battery had fallen. 30 percent.

여동생 ( _yeodongsaeng_ ): 15 Missed calls.

 _Shitshitshit._

He was screwed. Royally screwed. He was about to open his messaging app when he realized that the shadow, which was supposed to be Sasuke's frame, had disappeared.

"Oh no…" he muttered when he met his sister's frigid glare.

"You!" she yelled as she stalked her way to him. "Where were you! Why didn't you pick up my calls!" she yelled as she proceeded to hit him continuously. "I called so many freaking times, for fuck's sake! Were you with a girl. Oh I bet you were!"

"So she gets to hit him and he's okay with it, but when I do it, I get called a bitch…" Sakura muttered as she crossed her arms over her chest.

The girl immediately stopped her hitting and looked at the girl with a crazed look. One that had the entirety of Team Seven taking a step back.

"Of course I can! You know why? Because I'm his freaking sister!" and once again, she continued to hit him.

"Can I even explain myself?" he asked, as he tried to not scream at the hits she was giving him. She might've been slightly petite, but she could hit. Quite hard, actually.

"No you won't shit-for-brains! Do you know how many times I tried to call you. Like a whole freaking lot!"

"I thought you wanted makeup again!"

"Even if I did, you shouldn't have ignored it!"

Everyone else in the room could only just stare at what was going on. Team Seven was still trying to register the rant that Naruto had prior to their arrival at the Hokage's office, and now here he was, arguing with a female version of himself.

 _"Do you know how many times Mom called?! Do you?"_ she yelled once again, using weird words that they couldn't understand. Kakashi had shared a look with Sarutobi, thinking of it as a strong accent being used. Apparently he thought so as well. However they didn't expect Naruto to reply as well.

 _"Shit, she did?!"_ he replied, his expression getting even paler.

 _"Of course she did you bastard! And I can't even call her back because I don't even know where we are! Where the fuck did you take us, and why did you leave me alone with some old man dressed in cosplay!"_ she said jabbing a finger towards the Hokage's direction.

Sarutobi couldn't understand the pair due to their strange dialect, which he thought to be from an eastern province in the Fire country, however judging from the rude gesture that Naruto's sister had done, he could deduce that he was being insulted, or critiqued. Especially after Naruto looked at the man from the top to the bottom, his expression shocked with slight condescension.

Sarutobi knew Naruto from the day he was born, and never had he ever seen him act in such a way. The mystery was getting more difficult to solve.

"You wench!" Naruto exclaimed as he grabbed his sister's hair and held in a headlock. His aggressive behaviour had shocked many of the people, since they knew for one thing, that Naruto was never intentionally aggressive, especially towards a girl.

Kakashi was just shocked that he switched back to an understandable tongue. Was he even speaking Japanese?

"Uhm…" someone started, but they didn't have the heart to finish since the siblings were now looking at him with a look that screamed 'shut-your-trap-or-your-next'. Thankfully, the Hokage seemed to have stepped back into reality and decided to intervene before the blonde's argument got more heated.

"Would someone like to explain to me what is going on?"

* * *

"…and so after that, we decided to head to your office." Sasuke, surprisingly, explained as he looked at the twins in wonder.

"That sounds about right." Sakura and Kakashi said simultaneously.

Naruto and Naruko only rolled their eyes at the trio and crossed their arms over their chests.

"Naruto-kun…" Sarutobi started. "Would you like to give us your perspective on this story?"

But before Naruto could even say something, his sister interrupted him.

"Oh would I!" she yelled. "The name's Naruko by the way, thanks for asking!" she said with a fake voice as she glanced at the Hokage as well as her brother's companions. "Any-how, I woke up yesterday, took a shower, met with some girlfriends, went out, had a great time. And by great, I mean meh, because apparently Sharon and James broke up." Naruko continued as though every person in the room were aware of who those two individuals were.

They weren't.

"No way! Shut your mouth" Naruto yelled, as he looked at his sister with a surprised face. She only gave him a smug look.

"Yeah, the tea has been spilled. They are so over. Last night I saw him trying to hit it up with Michelle, that's why Brianne and Corey were acting so hyper with their weed dealer."

"…and Sharon?"

"Totally gay."

At first, Kakashi was confused as to what was going on, but quickly he realized that he was being subjected to what he could deduce as gossip. When he looked towards the Hokage's direction. He, also, seemed to have come to the same conclusion. Sasuke and Sakura seemed more interested with the story than anything else.

"As interesting as this is…" Sarutobi said as he looked at the two with slight exhaustion. "I don't understand how that relates to what we're trying to find out."

"Which is?" The two said simultaneously, with annoyance.

"How did you two get here?" Sakura asked slowly, as she put her hands together.

"Oh quit, the bitchiness Pinkie!" Naruko said, flipping her hair haughtily. The young shinobi clenched her arms tightly, several tick marks marring her face.

"Good game." Naruto said as he pulled his fist out. Naruko pulled hers out too, meeting his in a fist bump.

"Uzumak—"

"Look." Naruko started. "We don't fucking know how we got here. All we know is that we're not home, and that is very disorienting. I mean, do you know how it feels to, like, be in a situation that is, like, totally incomprehensible."

Before anyone could nod, they were interrupted.

"No, you don't fucking know." Naruko continued, much to the annoyance to many in the room. "I haven't done my morning yoga yet, my makeup is not fitting for the morning. Like," she turned to Naruto. "I haven't taken out my foundation or anything and all I have is this contoured face with no makeup remover, like help me God…"

"That's horrible for the skin booboo…" Naruto said with a slightly disturbed face. "You'll get break outs on the skin and…" he shuddered. "premature wrinkles."

Sasuke and Sakura just looked at their teammate with more shock. They'd found out so many different things about him in such short amount of time.

"When we get outta here, we'll need to get some facemasks. I feel like my skin is rotting…"

"He's like a male version of Ino." Sasuke muttered to Sakura, in which she nodded profusely. They were baffled about how seriously Naruto took his hygiene. Just yesterday, he would come to practice still wearing his dirty clothes which were a few days old. Now, he was in desperate need of a facemask?

"You see!" Naruko continued, her hand latched unto her brother's shoulder. "He hasn't even had a facemask on yet! Can you see how lost and confused we are? All we want to do is get back home and continue on with our day, but we can't because we somehow are stuck in some rural village that hasn't heard of automobiles, phones or the Kardashians. All you guys know how to do is dress like anime characters and wear stupid headbands. Like honestly, this place is weeaboo trash heaven."

The 'anime characters' in question did not know whether or not to be offended or confused. So they decided to be both. They all looked at the pair with confused glares.

"What?" Naruto asked, with raised eyebrows. "You all know that she's right."

But before anyone could utter another word, the door opened, and everyone in the room (at the exception of the Hokage and the Uzumaki sblings) bowed.

"Uzumaki-san, is this another one of your deranged pranks." the man said as he made his way to Hokage, and took a seat next to him.

"Who's the guy in rags?" Naruto said out loud, as he looked at the seasoned shinobi slightly disgusted. "I mean, who wakes up and decides to wear that." He had ignored the looks that many had given him. Instead he just looked at the man squarely in the eyes. There was only two people whom Naruto was afraid of. His mother and the wrath of his father. (in both senses) He wasn't intimidated by some old man with poor fashion sense.

"Naruto-kun, apologize." Kakashi said as he tried to force Naruto into the bowing position.

"Get your fucking hands off my hair before I call my ex to bust your nuts up." Naruto said abruptly as he scooted away from the man. Kakashi just looked at him dazedly. Where had the sweet Naruto gone off to? Sasuke and Sakura seemed affronted as well, it was one thing to insult your teacher, but one of your superiors… Not a wise move. At all.

"Naruto…" Sarutobi said warningly. "Apologize."

"Well it's true." Naruko replied, deciding to defend her brother. "I mean, he's dressed like Mother Gothel or something, but she's hotter and he's just… old. Like, he tried to pull of that sexy look, but it didn't work." She pointed to her chest area to emphasize her point.

"Don't you give me that look you creep " She continued, glaring at Danzo. "Who are you, to call me a deranged prank? Like I'm sorry I didn't bow or shit but it's not like asked you to kiss my ass either so… take a chill pill."

"What an insolent brat!" Danzo replied, his scowl turning into a glare.

"You mean, two insolent brats." Naruto answered, his hands doing a peace sign. Naruko didn't even care anymore, instead she took her phone from her pocket and began to check out her apps. Much to the curiosity of the two men in front of her.

Sarutobi had seen her take out that device, prior to Naruto's arrival. He had tried to get her to speak to him, but to no avail, she instead began to mutter in that strange language he'd heard she and Naruto speak a few moments ago.

"Can you two just shut your mouths?" Sasuke asked. He knew for a fact that he was a rude person, but he was never rude enough to insult a village elder so blatantly. They did it without shame, and honestly, he didn't want to be on Danzo's bad side. Neither did Sakura or Kakashi, who were giving the twins intense stares.

"Boohoo…" Naruto muttered, stuffing his hand back into his jacket pockets.

" _Dude, there's like really good phone service here_." Naruko said, once again slipping into a language foreign to the others.

" _Really!_ " Naruto took out his phone as well; despite it's low percentage and opened his phone settings. All this while ignoring the two village heads who were trying to get them to speak to them. " _Daebak! It's true, man I could use my Snapchat here!"_

"Abso-fucking-lutely." Naruko replied whilst opening her camera app.

One selfie, Sasuke and Sakura's eyes twitched.

The second selfie, this time with a filter on, Naruto decided to pose with her as well.

"Let me call this one… after-party/hungover aesthetic." She said as she began to label her post. Kakashi sweatdropped, already beginning to get used to their weird and foreign behaviour.

Selfie Three turned into a Snapchat video, in which Naruto and Naruko filmed the office, and it's tenants panoramically. "Look at these fucking weirdoes were with. Shit's crazy fam." He said he finished editing his video format.

"Dude, people are gonna freak when they see this." Naruko said, as she giggled.

"Totally."

Danzo usually had quite some patience, especially with annoying personalities, such as Naruto's. However, he'd never been so offended in such a short amount of time. First he was degraded for having poor fashion taste, and now he was being so openly ignored, before he could even control himself he exploded.

"Who in the world do you two think you are? To degrade your senior officers in such a way, to disrespect your sensei in such a manner, to ignore us and cuss us off ass though we are your mates!"

He had expected the pair to quiet down, to not speak again. But once again, they opened their mouths, much to everyone's chagrin.

"Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto." Naruto started, his tone arrogant. Kakashi gasped, Hiruzen dropped his pipe, Danzo's eyes widened. "Born October 10th in Seoul, South Korea. Moved to different countries quite often when I was young, currently living with my parents in New York. I have a largely followed Instagram and Tumblr. Also my Snapchat is fire." He finished.

"…and I, Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruko." She said in a snappy tone. Kakashi proceeded to make a small gurgling noise, whilst Hiruzen choked on his smoke and Danzo jumped slightly. "Born October 10th in Seoul, South Korea. Slightly younger than this dipshit by a few minutes, but who can blame my mom. She's a badass. I have a pretty awesome Insta and I do vlogs on YouTube. I'm a daddy's girl and he," she pointed towards her twin. "is a mama's boy. But he makes fire cookies so…whatever."

Although much of the jibber-jabber they said was incomprehensible. The first sentences they said had shocked many of the older shinobi.

 _They knew?_

"So…" Naruto began. "…to answer your question. That is who the fuck we are."

* * *

Notes: The Uzumaki siblings are both pieces of shit.


End file.
